colonelconclusive

2006-10-03T20:24:00.000-07:00

If you’re going to cheat, be ready to take the heat

This article can be found in the Monday, October 2, 2006 edition of the Chicago Tribune. It is transcribed word for word from the Tempo Section entitled TALES FROM THE FRONT BY CHERYL LAVIN. A troubled married woman writes:
Dear Cheryl: I’m a 28 year-old professional, married for five years. My husband is generally a great guy whom I do love. He works hard and is going back to school so that if we can have kids, we’ll be able to afford for me to stay home. We have a beautiful home, two decent cars and a pretty good life overall.
My dilemma: I have this overwhelming desire to cheat. And I don’t know why. Our sex life is very good, and we’re both left satisfied almost every tie, so it isn’t that. He’s emotionally there for me, and we have great communication between us. We challenge each other, and I think complement each other rather well. So, why do I want to be with other men? I recently went out for drinks with a guy friend whom I have known since I was 14. We had had a one-night stand ten years ago, but before that and since then, we’ve been just friends. I thought I would be a harmless night out—it has been so many years since we had sex, and I’m not the cute girl I used to be (I’ve gained some weight because of a fertility issue but recently have lost more than 30 pounds.) I was wrong. W went back to his house (which is about three minutes from mine) to hang out and ended up making out. And to be completely honest, the only reason it didn’t escalate is because of biological timing, if you see what I’m saying. I know I used bad judgment, but I didn’t feel all that bad about it at the time. I don’t understand what prompted me to do this. Maybe the alcohol, maybe the memories of our earlier night together, maybe the fact that age has been very kind to him. I don’t know, but this guy is not the only guy I want to have sex with. There are other guys that I haven’t done anything physical with but talk with consistently. I just don’t understand what’s with me, and I’m wondering if there are other people like me. I know my husband isn’t home much because of work and school, but that’s just a lame excuse, right?
---Am I the Only Horrible
Person Out There?

Dear AITOHPOT? I doubt it. Look at the statistics of married people and infidelity. Some studies say nearly half of married people, men and women, cheat during their marriage. So, you’re hardly alone in wanting a little extracurricular activity. And you’re going to get it. It’s obvious to me that you will cheat on your husband very soon unless something drastic happens. But before you do, I’d like you to be aware of the consequences. Are you prepared to end your marriage? That’s a very real possibility. Affairs can lead to divorce. Think about it. What happens if your husband finds out? Would he still want to be married to you? Would he still want to go through the emotional stress and financial burden of fertility treatments with you? Could he ever trust you again? Why should he? Or what if you fall in love with the guy? Or get a disease? Or get pregnant? Or become overwhelmed with guilt? Before you decide to jump into the sack, consider all the possible consequences of an affair. Is it worth it? If you decide it’s not, you have some work to do. First, get yourself to a library or a bookstore and pick up some books on why women cheat and find yourself among the types. Get some insight into why you’re willing to ruin what sounds like a wonderful marriage for some cheap thrills. Then hire a therapist who can help you find healthier ways to deal with your issues. Meanwhile, I’ll ask my female readers these questions: Do you cheat or have you cheated? Why? What were the consequences? I’ll keep you posted on their responses.

This is a typical problem that both the male and female may experience in a marriage. I think it’s important to know that there are other people out there that feel the same way; however, this doesn’t make the feeling right. In fact the feeling is quite the opposite, and the advice that Cheryl Lavin gives is invaluable, and should be taken to heart by any person entertaining the idea of cheating.

2006-10-03T20:22:00.000-07:00

Dusty Baker is Canned

After a four year stint with the Chicago Cubs, Dusty Baker (the manager) is finally ousted. Yes, he did manage to lead the team into the playoffs, but it’s also debatable whether or not he mismanaged them right out of a certain World Series bid. And after this year’s team performance, which measure up to the worst record in the National League, there’s no mistaking the inevitable…Dusty Baker had to be dismissed.

At this point his successor is unknown. Reports have been made that if Lou Piniella wants the job, it’s his for the taking. Cub fans would be more pleased if the executives of the organization did whatever it took to get former Florida manager, and former Cubs catcher Joe Girardi here. The first year manager led a team comprised of mostly rookies (Florida Marlins) to a respectable 78-84 record, twelve games better than the Cubs’ 66-96 record. An even better candidate, with more baseball knowledge than all of the front runners is Steve Stone. If he were chosen to manage this ball club, the Cubs could post a 100 loss season, and fans would still flock through the turnstiles. He has too much knowledge, however, for this to happen. He would, in effect, make the Chicago Cubs infinitely better. But, given the bad blood between the two (which is mind-boggling, not to mention frustrating, in and of itself); such a fantasy will never come true. Bob Brenly is a viable option, and allegedly a front runner to inherit the job. He’s a former broadcaster for the Chicago Cubs, and he managed the 2001 Arizona Diamondbacks to the World Series.

2006-10-03T20:20:00.000-07:00

NFL Commissioner Doles Out a Severe Slap on the Wrist

The National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell issued Titan’s Albert Haynesworth a five-game suspension, without pay, for his act in Sunday’s contest. Although it is the most severe penalty ever issued for an on-field atrocity, it still won’t deter future incidents from occurring. Haynesworth will only lose roughly $190,000 in pay, and he’ll miss less than half a season. Haynesworth’s teammate, Robaire Smith, claims fans have no idea what goes on in football games. He said, “Every game you play in this league is dirty. Just so happened [Haynesworth] got caught. He didn’t do anything any dirtier than what’s been going on for years.” Oh, in that case it’s ok then, right? The NFL authorities need to set an example, for actions of professional sports stars (good or bad), have a resounding impact on the nation’s youth, among others. A five game suspension sends the wrong message to everyone. Essentially it says actions such as these aren’t good, nor are they that bad. We realize that it’s simply part of the game, but it shouldn’t be part of any game. And issuing a season-ending suspension would have illustrated such a point in a much more absolute fashion.

2006-10-03T20:19:00.000-07:00

NBA to Try a New Basketball for the Upcoming Season

For the first time in 35 years the National Basketball Association changed the game balls that will be used in all professional basketball contests. In a press release the NBA reports, “The new model is a micro-fiber composite with moisture management that provides a superior grip and feel throughout the course of the game.” Shaquille O’neal (Miami Heat’s center) and many other NBA stars couldn’t disagree more. O’neal stated, “Feels like one of those cheap, indoor/outdoor balls that you buy at the toy store.” He said fans should expect to see shooting percentages fall, due to the change of balls. He also reported Monday, “The NBA’s been around how long? 100 years? 50 years? So to change it now, whoever that person is, needs his college degree revoked.”

2006-10-03T20:18:00.000-07:00

Contest for Human Pigs

Do you have problems keeping the interior of your car clean? Well, don’t throw away those wrappers spilling out from under your seats just yet. First, take a picture or two, or five, if you want a chance to win a 2007 Chrysler Pacifica. Contestants for “America’s Messiest Car” have until October 16 to photograph five pictures of their pen on wheels and submit them to Milliken & Co. (contest sponsor). More details and entry guidelines may be found at www.mylifemycarmymess.com.

2006-10-03T20:16:00.000-07:00

State Farm Will Sponsor the NFL’s Pro Bowl

State Farm Mutual Automobile Insurance Company is the beneficiary of a three year contract with the NFL. The contract allows State Farm to sponsor the event, and use of the league’s trademarks in TV promotions, and on the NFL’s website, www.NFL.com. Mark Gibson, assistant vice president for State Farm’s advertising department expressed his excitement, “This sponsorship allows State Farm to communicate through a channel that reaches millions of people and has an incredibly loyal fan base.”

2006-10-03T20:15:00.000-07:00

Kane County Plays Host to Volunteer Rescue Squad

Rescue Riders is comprised of volunteers that will be trained by The Kane County Medical Reserve Corps. to handle emergency responses. They will be trained in CPR, first aid, and will help transport supplies and other volunteers during natural disasters and terrorist attacks. Their method of transportation will be motorcycles. It’s believed to be the first of its kind in the United States. It spawned because of bikers who attempted to help after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. Fireman and policeman in New York turned most of the volunteers away because they weren’t credentialed. The volunteers of Rescue Riders will be credentialed. The inaugural training session begins Thursday. The training session hopes to expand in the future, but it will begin by training fourteen volunteers. Applications are available on the County Health Department’s website, www.Kane-health.com.

2006-10-03T20:13:00.000-07:00

Famous Protester Jailed for his Latest Demonstration

Forty two year-old Tom Morello set aside his guitar and went to bat for immigrants that work in hotels. He was protesting the lack of rights immigrant hotel workers possess. His stage wasn’t a hotel though; rather it was the Los Angeles International Airport. This stage seemed a bit odd, especially considering the stage he usually performs on with his band Audioslave. He was charged with unlawful assembly for refusing to move from the main entry road into the airport on Thursday night. He spent the night in jail and was released the following morning.

2006-10-03T19:45:00.000-07:00

Schools Aren’t Nearly as Safe as They Used to Be

In rural Pennsylvania, in a small Amish community, a man entered a small one room schoolhouse wielding weapons and 600 rounds of ammunition. He let several boys and women go, before attempting to execute 11 young girls. He killed four girls, injured three others, and then turned the gun on himself.

This is the fourth fatal attack that has occurred in a school in the past week. Three of these attacks were conducted by persons that did not attend the schools. Kenneth Trump, president of the National School Safety and Security Services, doesn’t offer much hope either. He says, “In the case of a roaming monster walking around a school, you have to realistic. There are some incidents you’re not going to be able to prevent.” Yeah, that’s a great attitude! Try selling that to any school shooting victim’s family. Something could certainly be done. Perhaps clear-cut solutions haven’t been pondered or worse yet, perhaps they have and they’ve been deemed too expensive to enact. But, don’t EVER dismiss the possibility of improvement, especially when it involves the safety or our children!

2006-10-03T19:41:00.000-07:00

The New You: Bury the Bad, Illuminate the Good

Google.com has enabled anyone who chooses to use their services with the ability to discover things normally out of their reach. Simply type in a proper name in the search box, click search, and discover John Doe’s recent top five finish in a marathon, or that he’s member of the Willow Pines Crochet Club. And oh, well how about this, apparently he owes several local video stores vast amounts of money. Google has established itself as “the” search engine on the Internet.

People need not worry about whom, or how many people are seeking info about them. People need to concentrate upon what personal information Google is offering the public. Go ahead, try it. Type your name in the search box at www. Google.com. Then, click the “search” box, or punch the “enter” button on your keyboard. Several blurbs with your name will appear in front of you. Click on the underlined headline to view your personal information even further. Like it? No, not entirely?

Fortunately, you can correct the problem. It’s not out of your control. A Chicago-based web company, Naymz.com, will help you link your name to things you’d like people to see, and minimize the content about you that you’d like to forget. Tom Drugan, one of three founders of Naymz.com, says, “Companies are out there online trying to protect their brands, and people should be too.” As Internet usage continues to grow, “it’s getting more important to address your online identity,” Drugan says. A recent survey discovered three out of four recruiters use search engines to learn more about job candidates. If you choose to bolster your positive online identity via www.Naymz.com Dugan guarantees your Naymz.com profile page will be at the top of Google’s listings when someone searches your name. Naymz.com allows you to create your own profile by uploading your photos, posting a short autobiography, and providing links to your other online activities, such as your blogs, or organizations you belong to. There are probably people out there that don’t want to be found online. Too bad though, your personal info is out there, and it’s up to you to polish your identity, or let it collect multiple particles of dust or dirt.

2006-10-03T19:38:00.000-07:00

Age Before Beauty

The beauty of cyberspace is that age is typically a non-factor. What’s the matter? Is such an observation troubling? Weina Scott might have people believing otherwise. She’s seventeen years-old, still in high school, and yet she has an annual salary of $40,000. No, she didn’t accrue such a salary working at McDonalds, the local grocery store, or The Gap. Her visions, her creativity, and her passion for the Internet yielded far more rewards than a typical juvenile’s job. She teamed up with her friend, Jake Fischer, another high school student out of Minnesota, to create Switchpod.com. The website provides users space to upload audio and video programs as podcasts. The website supports 6,000 customers and roughly 800,000 downloads. The success of Switchpod has alerted the million dollar company Wizzard Software. Wizzard realized the potential growth of Switchpod and offered to buy the website from Weina Scott and Jake Fischer. They agreed to sell their ownership rights in return for $200,000 worth of stock, and CEO positions with the firm. Both of them juggle twenty hours per week of business work with their academic work, netting them a $40,000/year salary for each student. Weina’s parents, although happy with their daughter’s achievements, claim they would much rather see Weina maintain her straight A’s than get in too deep trying to run a business.

2006-10-03T19:36:00.000-07:00

Schools Shift the Blame

A survey was conducted at 15 middle schools in New Hampshire and Vermont. The study examined 4,500 students and tried to correlate the amount of television watched to the kind of schoolwork the students performed. The study concludes that the more television watched, or video games played on weekdays, the worse students performed in school. Results of the study will be published in the October issue of the magazine ‘Pediatrics.’

2006-10-03T19:34:00.000-07:00

Heroine Catches Innocence

A baby’s mother left her child with her two younger brothers while she went off to work. The 13 and 10 year-old boys wandered off, leaving the front door ajar. The baby crawled out on to the balcony of their Shadow Wood condominium in Denver, Colorado. The baby enjoyed the three story high view a little too much, and before long she found herself clinging to the railing for her life. Nobody knows for sure how she got herself in the position, but she managed to get a hold of the railing with one hand, while the rest of her body hovered over the ground below. Mary Bussey and her son were on their way to his football game when Bussey noticed the magnitude of the situation. Rather than allowing the situation to unfold into a tragedy, she positioned herself below the baby just in time. The baby released her grip of the railing and fell three stories, right into Mary Bussey’s arms.

Denver Police Chief Gerry Whitman thanked Mary Bussey and her son by providing them with movie and dinner passes, baseball caps filled with candy, and framed letters of commendation. Police declined to reveal the identity of both the baby and her mother, for they are both juveniles.

2006-10-03T19:32:00.000-07:00

Will the Punishment Fit the Crime?

Why is it that punishments for crimes committed by celebrities should be treated any differently than if they were committed by a color-collared citizen? Lord knows there isn’t a lay-person alive that could spin an overdose/suicide attempt into an accident, all in the span of less than twenty-four hours. But such an achievement was nothing for Dallas Cowboy’s wide receiver Terrell Owens. Ricky Manning Jr, a defensive back for the Chicago Bears, and some friends of his, beat a Denny’s restaurant patron unconscious. The poor man had has headphones on, minding his own business, working silently at his laptop. Manning Jr. and friends approached him and stirred the trouble without being provoked. Through the course of his action, Manning Jr. violated his probation for a similar incident. His punishment for this recent crime has amounted to a mere 100 hours of community service and three years probation. He hasn’t received punishment from the NFL as of yet. The NFL is expected to discipline Tennessee’s Albert Haynesworth for his on-field attack that occurred Sunday. What sort of punishment does he deserve for spiking a fallen Cowboy in the face? The fact that he inflicted lacerations on the Cowboys center’s face probably won’t factor into the magnitude of the punishment either. And given the NFL’s track record of disciplinary action, people shouldn’t expect any more than a fine that equates to a slap on the wrist. It’s too bad Haynesworth doesn’t have Kim Etheredge as a publicist too, for she’d probably be able to spin this incident into a muscle spasm, which in turn, created an involuntary accident. What’s worse is if such an excuse came to light, the NFL would be dumb enough to buy it.

2006-10-03T19:29:00.000-07:00

Titan is Far From a God, But Closely Resembles the Devil

In the third quarter of Sunday’s football contest between the Tennessee Titans and the Dallas Cowboys an ejection of mass proportions occurred. That was the least of defensive lineman, Albert Haynesworth’s concerns. Actions such as his should warrant a year long suspension. During a play that yielded a Cowboy’s touchdown, the Cowboy’s center, Andre Gurode lost his helmet once he fell to the ground. Tennessee’s Albert Haynesworth saw an opportunity to do harm…And he took it. Standing above Gurode’s exposed face, Haynesworth stomped on him twice. He struck him just above his forehead and once below his eye. The cleats on the bottom of his shoe left large lacerations, all of which required stitches (30 in all), to mend the injuries. What provoked such an act of unsportsmanlike conduct? Nothing. No exchanges had occurred between the two men at any time during the game. Haynesworth knows he was wrong though, and showed remorse stating, “What I did out there was disgusting. It doesn’t matter what the league does to me. The way I feel, you just can’t describe it.” Imagine how Andre Gurode feels. Hopefully the statement of remorse, whether it is true or false, doesn’t weigh too heavily upon the league’s choice of punishment.

2006-10-03T19:27:00.000-07:00

Accusations Abound

Former relief pitcher Jason Grimsley is under federal investigation regarding his illegal use of performance enhancing drugs while under the employment of Major League Baseball. He aided the investigation further by naming ex-teammates as fellow indulgers of the illegal substances. He claims Roger Clemens, Andy Pettite, Miguel Tejada, Brian Roberts, David Segui, and Jay Gibbons were all participants in the use of the illegal substances. Roger Clemens is outraged by the accusation. He contends he’s never used such substances, and if he loses a sponsor due to the allegations (questioning his moral character) he will take legal action against his accusers. Pettite says he feels embarrassed by the accusations, for he’s always prided himself because he’s enjoyed success without the use of these substances. Miguel Tejada was once accused by fellow teammate Rafael Palmeiro for his role in the conspiracy, and wishes for nothing more than the allegations to cease. David Segui said, “Unless you’ve seen them do [drugs], unless you’ve injected them, then you have no grounds to make a statement like that at all, to even bring their names into it.” He’s absolutely correct. The perplexing matter is this, Why, with all of this nation’s mounting problems such as welfare, crime, etc, why does the federal government deem it necessary to involve themselves in MLB’s problems?

2006-10-03T19:17:00.001-07:00

Suspicions Confirmed

Last year’s right fielder for the Chicago Cubs, Jeremy Burnitz, was ousted due to his lack of offensive prowess. His replacement was Jacque Jones. After witnessing horrendous throws by Jones, throws that occurred all season long, fans began to suspect that something had to be physically wrong with the man. On Sunday, Jacque Jones confirmed such beliefs when he disclosed, “I played with a torn labrum and bone chips in my elbow. I’ve got to see what’s going on with that.” You think?! And wouldn’t fans think Chicago management would’ve thought about that before signing him to a lucrative contract? His offensive numbers were respectable; however, his defensive incapability’s were sole contributors to more than just a loss or two during the course of the season. Management deserves a pat on the back, for the inadequacies they've armed this organization with are indeed finally coming to light.

2006-10-03T19:17:00.000-07:00

2006-10-03T18:49:00.000-07:00

One Incompetent for Another

Some might consider it a bit strange that after twelve years of service, the Chicago Cubs’ team president Andy MacPhail resigned. Did he voluntarily do so because he felt the Cubs lack of success rested solely upon his shoulder, or did he do so to save face? Rumors have been aplenty during the second half of the season regarding the dismissal of several executives within the organization. Perhaps fans should dismiss the how and whys regarding MacPhail’s departure and concentrate more upon his successor.

Dennis FitzSimons (Tribune Co. Chief Executive Officer and President) announced Sunday that John McDonough is now the interim President for the team. Wonderful! What are his credentials? Well, he was the senior vice president of marketing and broadcasting. Marketing and broadcasting? What in the blue hell does that translate into as far as running the day-to-day operations of a professional ball club? McDonough claims he’ll bring a World Series title to this town via the Chicago Cubs. Why should fans believe him? McDonough will tell fans because of his marketing expertise, fan attendance has increased to record highs year after year. Big deal! The rise in attendance had nothing to do with marketing and it definitely had nothing to do with winning. And if McDonough was so successful in his previous position, then how can he account for the dismissal of perhaps the greatest baseball commentator, not to mention fan favorite, Steve Stone? A question of greater magnitude is if the organization had such strong intentions to make some changes at the top (i.e. MacPhail and Dusty Baker), why have so little preparations been made for their replacements? Better options for the positions of president and manager have to be available. Why are fans led to believe such options don’t exist? The five P’s immediately rise to mind. Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance. Given the Tribune Company has little concern to prevent poor performance, fans must question what aspirations does the ball club have?

2006-09-29T15:56:00.000-07:00

Wood be Possible

The Chicago Cubs have not been to the World Series in 98 years. The reason for such a disparity lies heavily upon the management’s (or lack thereof) shoulders. They’ve repeatedly made bad decisions that have been detrimental to the most under-achieving team in baseball. And it sounds as if they’re going to continue their woes, for general manager Jim Hendry has stated he would like Kerry Wood to return as a reliever for the team in 2007. Chicago drafted Kerry Wood and quickly anointed him as “the next Nolan Ryan.” His history, however, proves to be a closer match to Illinois Governor George Ryan, for he’s been nothing but a thorn in Cubs’ fans sides. The Cubs have invested lucrative amounts of money in him with hopes that in return he’ll contribute to the team. Instead he’s refused to follow his coaches’ advice and change his pitching mechanics. The result: Extended stays on the disable list, year after year after year. Due to his history, it’d be virtually impossible to trade him. Who would want a bane of a pitching staff? So what’s in his future? Unfortunately it appears as if it will be another contract, which is much to the Cubs fans’ dismay. He claims to have an “obligation” to the team, and he says, “there is something [I have] to prove.” He’s proved himself already. The Cubs need to cut their losses. They don’t need a whiny girl on their team that is incapable of following instructions. They need men that are flexible, men that want to play, men that want to win. He’s none of these; therefore; not worthy of anymore investments…unless he wants to pitch for free! Which for all intents and purposes is the obligation he should feel for this team and their loyal fans.

2006-09-29T15:55:00.000-07:00

T.O. Should be K.O.

Terrell Owens, perhaps the most controversial star in NFL history, has a propensity for destructive behavior. His history includes accusing a former teammate, his quarterback at the time (Steve Young of the 49ers), of being gay. In addition he quit in mid season because another former teammate, quarterback Donavan McNabb, didn’t fit T.O.’s bill of a good teammate. Therefore, on Wednesday morning it came as little surprise when it was reported that the Dallas Cowboys’ wide receiver attempted suicide. Both T.O. and his publicist refute the claims despite the fact that the police report reflected their statements and behavior on Tuesday. Initially, Kim Etheredge, T.O.’s publicist, called 911 when she witnessed T.O.’s uncharacteristic behavior at his home on Tuesday. She also reported she beleved he may have taken an overdose of medication. He had painkillers in his possession to alleviate discomfort in his surgically repaired right ring finger. When paramedics arrived on the scene they asked him if he intended to harm himself. He said, “Yes.” His publicist also allegedly told police officers on the scene that he was “depressed.” Less than twenty four hours after the incident, paramedic and police reports literally became cloudy as half the information reported was blacked out. In addition, both T.O. and his publicist’s quotations transformed into fables as they both incessantly denied remarks they made previously.

The question is why? And the answer is simple. The repercussions of an individual who attempts suicide are anything but pleasant. Most notably, a failed suicide attempt would induce a visit to a psych ward to both further evaluate the individual’s mental health, as well as ensure his safety from further attempts of bodily harm. What would such a fate mean? It would mean he would undoubtedly be unable to suit up, at the very least, for Sunday’s NFL contest. Naturally, the Cowboys couldn’t have that; therefore, quite a spin has been put on this little incident. Does the O.J. Simpson trial come to mind? It should, for here’s yet another clear-cut example of the fact that if an icon has money, he or she can buy innocence.

2006-09-29T15:54:00.000-07:00

More Trouble in the NFL

The Cincinnati Bengals’ linebacker Odell Thurman is in trouble again. His season came to an abrupt halt when he was arrested Wednesday for drunken driving. His hearing is scheduled for Monday. He was already serving a four game suspension for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy, and he had had several problems of this sort in the past. Coach Marvin Lewis, apparently tired of doling out chance after chance, had Thurman clean out his locker. What boggles the mind is given the fact that it is highly improbable for a player to make it to the most elite level of football in the world (NFL), why would a player treat this rare privilege with little or no respect by repeatedly engaging in stupid acts such as these?

2006-09-29T15:50:00.000-07:00

Sippin’ on Some Syzrup

The San Diego Chargers’ starting safety Terrance Kiel was arrested Tuesday for drug trafficking. He was charged with two counts of distribution of Codeine-based cough syrup and three counts of possession with the intent to sell. The U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration closed in on him at the team’s practice facility. His motives are uncertain, but he readily admitted shipping two packages of the substance to Texas. Why Texas? That answer remains to be known, although he was born and raised in Texas, and he attended Texas A & M university. His arraignment is scheduled for October 3. He was released on $150,000 bond, which is chump change to him considering he’s paid millions of dollars/year. This brings to mind the inherent question of ‘why?’ Why would someone risk his entire career for this? The amount of money he could earn selling such substances can only be a fraction of what he earns in the NFL. Is the excitement, competition, and risk of injury in the NFL too much of a bore for the man?

2006-09-27T08:59:00.000-07:00

A Can of Worms
That’s about what the Chicago Cubs 2006 season amounted to. The butt of the blame has consistently shifted throughout the course of the year, ranging from nagging injuries to lack of intensity. An interview with first baseman/outfielder Phil Nevin, who "enjoyed" his short stint (67 games) with the Cubs, failed to put fans’ questions to rest.
"That team has been through more than anyone knows this year. Some of it has been publicized, some of it hasn’t. This just wasn’t the right year for it to be done in Chicago." He continues, "it has been one of those years, where...including most of those people take life for granted, and next year [you will] come out with a different perspective of baseball."
Wow! That sounds pretty intense! But, given the fact that fans can look at this season, along with almost every other one in the past 100 years, and see quite a resemblance (as far as the player’s as well as the team’s performance are concerned), how can fans differentiate one group of tragedies or mishaps from another? Unfortunately, they can’t, and perhaps that’s why the truth regarding the Cubs’ demise this year will never be revealed. But, in the event that it is...Fans still won’t be able to offer many more sympathies or understanding.

2006-09-27T08:58:00.000-07:00

An Apple a Day Leads Doctors Astray
A recent study published in the archives of Internal Medicine reveals some disturbing tendencies in the medical field. The survey was given to 2,600 surgeons and medical specialists. Its aim...to question doctors motivations and tendencies regarding the disclosure of any errors they may have made, or will make. 20% of those surveyed definitely would not disclose obvious errors (such as an improperly written prescription that led to a patient overdose) to the patient. Even more disgusting is the fact that 50% of the doctors surveyed claimed they WOULD NOT report a less obvious error (such as mis-reading a patient’s medical chart).
In the event that a doctor’s error caused a serious problem for a patient, an astounding 58% claimed they would not admit the problem was a result of their error. Most doctors claimed they would offer the patient an apology, although only 1/3 said that the apology would be heartfelt. The other 2/3 reported that they would issue an apology only in an effort to lower the number of malpractice suits filed, or decrease the amount they’d have to pay in a settlement.
Comforting, huh? Perhaps comments from the study’s author, Dr. Thomas H. Gallagher (also an associate professor of medicine at the University of Washington) will set patient’s mind at ease. He said, "It isn’t that doctors routinely make a conscious decision to conceal errors," rather, "the doctor is thinking about 2what the patient really needs to know to understand what happened." His attempts to gain a patient’s trust appear futile even after explaining, "Doctors worry about telling patients too much, scaring them unnecessarily." That’s hogwash, they’re worried about covering their behinds. Patients should be informed of all concerns that may or may not effect them. After all, they’re adults....they can handle it.

2006-09-27T08:57:00.000-07:00

Profiling U.S. Soldiers
Lipomics Technologies Inc. Is in the process of developing a new system used to detect or profile an individual’s capacity for fitness and exhaustion. Patricia Deuster, director of aplied human biology at the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences in Bethesda, Maryland, explains, "Beyond sing bio-markers like blood glucose or blood lactate, there really isn’t anything" to determine an individual’s capabilities.
The Californian biotech firm aims to change this deficiency, and the Defense Department of the United States is willing to help. In fact, they’re funding the basic research. In 2004, Lipomics won a $100,000 grant. They’ve just received a second dose of funding as well. The new tests in which the firm is developing could aid the screening process for soldiers. They will determine which soldiers are aptly suited for particular jobs.

2006-09-26T12:33:00.000-07:00

A.J. Knocked Out Again

The last time A.J. Pierzynski was in Boston his team lost a crucial three game series. That wasn’t the only thing A.J. lost though. He lost respect. A pop fly carried A.J into foul territory. He caught the ball to end the inning. Two young boys in the crowd gestured to A.J. in an effort to gain a souvenir. A.J. recognized their attempt, removed the ball from his mitt and motioned a flip to the boys, but he never released the ball. Instead, he put the ball back in his glove and retreated to his dugout. What a guy!

Hey, maybe Michael Barrett (catcher for the Chicago Cubs) was on to something when he cold cocked A.J. Pierzynski. After a collision between the two occurred in a play at the plate, earlier this year, Barrett returned to his feet and knocked Pierzynski out with a right hook. In a press conference after the game Pierzynski offered bumbling comments that were blanketed with confusion.

Speaking of getting knocked out, the White Sox were mathematically eliminated from the playoffs after suffering a loss to the Seattle Mariners this afternoon. Therefore, A.J. and the rest of the boys cloaked in black will sit at home this October, and keep themselves warm with yet another blanket of confusion.

2006-09-26T12:28:00.000-07:00

‘Girls Gone Wild’ Executive Found Guilty

Joe Francis, founder and chief executive of the ‘Girls Gone Wild’ company, was fined $500,000 yesterday in Los Angeles. It’s the second hefty fine he’s received this month for violating federal record keeping laws that require him to document the ages of young women that appear in his soft porn videos. Earlier this month, Francis’ Florida based company (Mantra Entertainment) agreed to pay $1.6 million in fines for the same offenses.

2006-09-26T12:26:00.001-07:00

Three Marines Face Court-Martial

Pfc. John Jodka, 20, Cpl. Marshall Magincalda, 23, and Lance Cpl. Jerry Shumate, 21, were among four other Marines and one Navy corpsman involved in the kidnapping and murder of a 52 year-old Iraqi man.

Hashim Ibrahim Awad resided in the town Hamdania. The serviceman broke into the man’s home, bound his feet, and dragged him from his home to a roadside hole where they shot him to death. The three face charges of conspiracy, housebreaking, improper seizure, holding a victim against his will, and murder charges. Fortunately, the soldiers will not face the death penalty. The other five servicemen will have their preliminary hearings in the weeks to follow.

2006-09-26T12:26:00.000-07:00

2006-09-26T12:25:00.000-07:00

Military Officers Blast Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld

Retired Gen. John R.S. Batiste told a forum consisting of Democratic Senators, “I believe Secretary Rumsfeld and others in the administration did not tell the American people the truth for fear of losing support for the war in Iraq.” He also believes soldiers were deployed without the best equipment available. Retired Major General Paul Eaton seconded these feelings as he described Rumsfeld as, “incompetent strategically, operationally, and tactically.” He further warned the forum that if Rumsfeld and his staff aren’t replaced soon the American public, as well as soldiers at war, “will see two more years of extraordinarily bad decision-making.”

2006-09-26T12:22:00.000-07:00

Oprah Winfrey for President?

Patrick Crowe of Kansas City, Mo, has been campaigning on Oprah’s behalf for years. His charge…he wants to see Oprah Winfrey run for president. Patrick Crowe even set up a website strictly for the purpose. A month ago Oprah’s lawyers issued Crowe a letter, demanding him to remove her picture from his website.

Oprah appeared on Larry King’s CNN show Monday night. Larry asked her what she thought of the “Oprah for President” movement. She played dumb, responding, “Is there a movement?” Earlier this week Oprah told the Associated Press “she was flattered,” by the movement. She told Larry King she knows of a better candidate for office. Her pick is Barack Obama.

2006-09-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

Oprah Winfrey Appears on Larry King’s Show

Patrick Crowe of Kansas City, Mo, has been campaigning on Oprah’s behalf for years. His charge…he wants to see Oprah Winfrey run for president. Patrick Crowe even set up a website strictly for the purpose. A month ago Oprah’s lawyers issued Crowe a letter, demanding him to remove her picture from his website.

Oprah appeared on Larry King’s CNN show Monday night. Larry asked her what she thought of the “Oprah for President” movement. She played dumb, responding, “Is there a movement?” Earlier this week Oprah told the Associated Press “she was flattered,” by the movement. She told Larry King she knows of a better candidate for office. Her pick is Barack Obama.

2006-09-26T11:44:00.000-07:00

Revenue Increases for Internet Advertising

Internet advertising accounts for a mere 5% of all U.S. advertising revenues. Keyword ads running alongside search results, banner display ads, and classified ads are responsible for a 37% revenue increase for the first half of this year. Last year online revenues equaled $12.5 billion. Pricewaterhouse Coopers LLP conducted a quarterly study to determine Internet advertising revenue for the first half of this year. Their findings report a fourth consecutive year of growth, for the Internet ads this year have already produced $7.9 billion.

2006-09-25T22:13:00.000-07:00

Medical Melodies

Music is as common now in operating rooms as it is in elevators. Although the tunes heard within the medical field are generally more inspiring and/or comforting. Studies have shown that music can ease both doctor and patient anxieties. It’s also been proven that music not only improves a doctor’s performance, but it also lowers the amount of anesthesia a patient needs. Dr. Mark Goodwin, a cardiologist with Midwest Heart Specialists, explains, “I do think that music, whether it’s a symphony or whatever, touches our soul in a different way. And I think anything that does that helps heal us.”

2006-09-25T22:10:00.000-07:00

Everybody Wants to be Heard

The Internet serves as a wonderful tool of individual expression; however, it still lacks the appeal to the ear that the medium of radio can provide. So how does one compensate for this void? They partake in the twenty one year-old illegal practice known as Pirate Radio.

Pirate Radio refers to a radio station that operates without a license, without government regulations, without censorship, and without a syndicated audience. These stations are generally homemade using amplifiers, romex connectors, meters, resistors, sockets, capacitors and microphones. Due to their makeshift design, they’re only audible within a few miles of their origination. But at any given time, hundreds of stations may be heard across the nation.

Larger, licensed, public and private radio stations are coupled with the Federal Communications Commission to serve as Pirate Radio’s biggest enemies. There were as many as 185 unlicensed broadcasters punished by the FCC by early September. This is an astounding number more than years past, for in 2005 only 151 violators were caught, and a mere 92 in 2004. People that engage in the activity don’t believe they’re doing anything wrong, after all, air waves are in fact free. But, most people lack the technological know-how on how to grab and use them.

Stephen Dunifer, an Oakland resident, aims to change that. The often referred “patron saint of pirate radio” heads a four day class entitled “Dunifer’s Radio Camp.” The mini-camp teaches enthusiasts how to create their very own radio station. His belief is, “if enough people go on the air with their stations, the FCC will be overwhelmed and unable to respond.” The FCC employs 333 people, whom are responsible for policing these activities as well as cable television and telephone services. This appears to be a futile battle, for 333 people isn’t nearly enough to police an entire nation of people seeking to establish a recognized voice of their own.

2006-09-25T22:08:00.000-07:00

Bar Hopping Equals Profit Sharing

A recent study shows abstinence doesn’t pay…as well. The study was based on an article found in the Journal Labor Research. It contends that social drinking builds social capital through the use of networking. Females who frequent the watering holes at least once per month, build relationships and make more contacts than those that do not indulge in the activity. These women were found to earn 14% more than a non-drinker. On the other hand, males who frequent the bar are found to earn 10% more than males who practice abstinence.

2006-09-25T22:02:00.001-07:00

Men Can Be Shoe Mongrels Too

Behold ladies, some men carry with them the obsession with shoes. Men can get just as upset when they see some dude sporting a pair of kicks that they own, as a woman can get when they see "their" dress being worn by another woman at a party. If such a travesty should occur, men succumb to the retailers’ solution: “Buy a different pair.”

Krabby Rangoon is happy to oblige. Mr. Rangoon is a “sneaker pimp” and proud owner of a rare pair of gray, low-top Nike Dunks designed by a New York graffiti artist known simply as Stash. Only forty pairs of these shoes were produced. The price Mr. Rangoon paid for this rarity…a mere $3,300. Krabby Rangoon spends $600 a month on his hobby that can only be explained as an addiction. Shoe manufacturers are catering to these addicts by joining with street artists to produce limited edition shoes, often termed “kicks,” or “jumpers.” Some of these off the wall designs can be found in magazines such as Sneaker Freaker or Sole Collector. But the best place to seek out the rarities is none other than Ebay.

2006-09-25T22:02:00.000-07:00

Men Can Be Shoe Mongrels Too

Behold ladies, some men carry with them the obsession with shoes. These men feel the same frustration a woman often expresses when he sees somebody wearing an identical pair of shoes. If such a travesty should occur, men succumb to the retailers’ solution: “Buy a different pair.”

Krabby Rangoon is happy to oblige. Mr. Rangoon is a “sneaker pimp” and proud owner of a rare pair of gray, low-top Nike Dunks designed by a New York graffiti artist known simply as Stash. Only forty pairs of these shoes were produced. The price Mr. Rangoon paid for this rarity…a mere $3,300. Krabby Rangoon spends $600 a month on his hobby that can only be explained as an addiction. Shoe manufacturers are catering to these addicts by joining with street artists to produce limited edition shoes, often termed “kicks,” or “jumpers.” Some of these off the wall designs can be found in magazines such as Sneaker Freaker or Sole Collector. But the best place to seek out the rarities is none other than Ebay.

2006-09-25T22:01:00.000-07:00

Federal Aid to Public Schools

The federal government will supply radios to all 97,000 public schools across the nation. The radios will deliver warnings regarding all hazards, from severe weather conditions to acts of terrorism. The Homeland Security Department will contribute $5 million to see the project through.

2006-09-25T21:59:00.000-07:00

Photo Album Books Soon to be Extinct

Tao Electronics is responsible for producing a portable photo album. That’s right! When someone asks to see your kids, you no longer have to dig through your purse or delve through your wallet, struggling to produce your pride and joy. Instead, you simply have to produce your new keychain, and click a couple of buttons.

The keychain comes in a small diamond, square, or round shape, and it can store up to 56 full-color, digital pictures. Using Tao’s software, you can download photos right off your computer. The product, called KeyPix, can be purchased for $59.99 at taoelectronics.com or by calling 650-326-5000.

2006-09-25T21:55:00.000-07:00

Dealing with Death…as a Friend

Coping with the death of a loved one is never easy, although helping a friend through the mourning process is often looked upon as even harder. The good news is it doesn’t have to be. Tony Pacione, a social worker and the director of behavioral health at Lutheran General Hospital’s Advocate Medical Group in Park Ridge, IL, offers a few simple rules to follow.

Those that are grieving aren’t necessarily looking for advice or verbal support. More often then not, just your presence is enough. Offers to help notify friends and family of services or memorials are often appreciated. Volunteering to assist in things construed as routine, such as house, pet, or child sitting can also go a long way. It’s also a good idea to prepare yourself for uncharacteristic reactions of anger, for this often accompanies grief. As time passes, volunteer to join the grieving in rituals that celebrate the life of the deceased, such as monthly visits to the grave site.

Most importantly, DON’T impose religious views upon the grieving. Statements such as “They’re better off in heaven,” or “it was God’s will,” don’t add any degree of comfort. And never, ever dismiss or denounce the death as if it’s a minor or manageable thing by saying things like, “You can always have another child,” or “At least you still have your mother.” Above all else, just simply let the grieving know that you’re there for their benefit and support.

2006-09-25T21:53:00.000-07:00

High Energy in Heels

The combination of athletic shorts, a tank top, and stiletto heels is a new fashion sweeping Chicago. Not really, but the ensemble is a common one among women at Crunch Gym (2727 North Lincoln Avenue). These women are testing a new exercise, entitled “Stiletto Strength.” Rebecca Lee, the thirty year-old instructor, claims “wearing heels shortens the Achilles tendon, so we try to counteract that.” The class is geared towards building a woman’s calves, boosting their confidence, and avoiding any potential walking mishaps.

A typical class begins with a few minutes of stretching. That’s followed with a few cardio exercises, some ballet and modern dance moves, all of which occurs without the use of heels. Once a half hour has elapsed, students slip into their heels and go to work for another half hour. Those who have taken the class believe it to be tough, but worthwhile.

2006-09-25T21:47:00.000-07:00

Sweetheart Tables Aren’t Favorably Looked Upon

Sweetheart Tables at weddings are becoming increasingly popular, but the popularity rests solely upon the bride and the groom. According to a recent survey of 191 people, almost 75% of them don’t approve of the isolated table setting. Most of these people are opposed to the idea of the bride and groom sitting at a table all by their lonesome because they think it’s rude. They reported feeling left out, which is the exact opposite feeling weddings are supposed to invoke.

2006-09-25T21:41:00.002-07:00

Strip Searches Declared Unconstitutional

Former Will County jail inmates were subjected to strip searches for offenses as little as misdemeanors or failures to appear in court on traffic charges. Kenneth Flaxman is the attorney responsible for filing the suit against the county back in 2003. In December of 2005 the county appealed a federal court ruling that declared the strip searches that occurred both at the time of incarceration, as well as upon release, a violation of the defendant’s civil rights. But on Wednesday Sept. 20, 2006, U.S. District Court Judge Virginia Kendall gave preliminary approval to a settlement of $2.15 million.
The settlement is pending a Nov. 17 “fairness hearing.” Kevin Clancy, the attorney who defended Will County, believes the settlement will not hold. In the event that it does, each eligible inmate could receive more than $400.

2006-09-25T21:41:00.001-07:00

2006-09-25T21:41:00.000-07:00

Smoke it Up!

With the onset of the smoking ban enacted and enforced in Chicago bars and restaurants, the popularity of the Hookah café has emerged. These establishments have escaped the stingy anti-smoking ordinance by masquerading as licensed “retail tobacco” establishments. The label carries with it the stipulation that the establishment must derive at least 65% of their revenue from tobacco smoking. Most of these establishments do not carry liquor licenses, although on the contrary, many of them do serve food and drinks.

Prices range from $4-$12 to engage in the activity. Once payment is received, visitors are lent a tall glass and metal water pipe. The base is filled with water, and the bowl that rests atop the apparatus is filled with flavored tobacco. A coal or two is placed on top of the tobacco to create a slow burn. Smoke then fills the pipe and can be inhaled through any number of hoses protruding from the base.

Users believe the practice to be safer than smoking cigarettes because the water at the base acts as a natural filter, cooling the smoke before it reaches the user’s lungs. This is a common misconception, contends Joel Africk, president and CEO of the American Lung Association of Metropolitan Chicago. In any event, patrons of the café admit enjoying the mellow vibe and socialization these cafes inevitably promote.

2006-09-25T21:20:00.000-07:00

Smoke it Up!

With the onset of the smoking ban enacted and enforced in Chicago bars and restaurants, the popularity of the Hookah café has emerged. These establishments have escaped the stingy anti-smoking ordinance by masquerading as licensed “retail tobacco” establishments. The label carries with it the stipulation that the establishment must derive at least 65% of their revenue from tobacco smoking. Most of these establishments do not carry liquor licenses, although on the contrary, many of them do serve food and drinks.

Prices range from $4-$12 to engage in the activity. Once payment is received, visitors are lent a tall glass and metal water pipe. The base is filled with water, and the bowl that rests atop the apparatus is filled with flavored tobacco. A coal or two is placed on top of the tobacco to create a slow burn. Smoke then fills the pipe and can be inhaled through any number of hoses protruding from the base.
Users believe the practice to be safer than smoking cigarettes because the water at the base acts as a natural filter, cooling the smoke before it reaches the user’s lungs. This is a common misconception, contends Joel Africk, president and CEO of the American Lung Association of Metropolitan Chicago. In any event, patrons of the café admit enjoying the mellow vibe and socialization these cafes inevitably promote.

2006-09-23T21:44:00.000-07:00

Capitol Punishment Returns to North Dakota

Alfonso Rodriguez Jr, of Crookston, Minnesota showed no remorse, or any other emotion Friday, when a jury in North Dakota handed him the death sentence. It was the first sentence of its kind in nearly a century. The 53 year-old convicted sex offender kidnapped a 22 year old student of the University of North Dakota as she was leaving a shopping mall in Grand Forks, North Dakota.
North Dakota no longer practices the death penalty; however, the case was tried under federal law because Rodriguez Jr. transported his victim, Dru Sjodin, across state lines. Her slain body was discovered in Minnesota. North Dakota’s last execution was in 1905.

2006-09-23T21:43:00.000-07:00

Capitol Intrusion

On Monday morning Washington D.C. police officers failed to detain Carlos Greene outside the U.S. Capitol. First, the 20 year-old suspect eluded two officers in his car. He then darted from his vehicle and escaped a third officer’s pursuit on foot. Seeking recluse, he ran across the Capitol’s grounds and gained access to the Capitol (despite carrying a loaded handgun) through an unguarded door. Once inside the Rotunda, Carlos Greene assaulted one civilian employee, and struggled with another before a third employee subdued him with a bear hug. Shortly thereafter, D.C. police caught up with the suspect and relieved the civilian employee of his heroic duty. At the time of his arrest police officers also discovered a small amount of crack cocaine on the suspect’s person.
At a detention hearing Friday, U.S. Magistrate Judge John Facciola ordered the criminal held without bond on the charge of illegally possessing a firearm.

2006-09-23T21:40:00.001-07:00

“Young Gun” is Gunning for Trouble
Actor Lou Diamond Phillips, who starred in the movies Young Guns and La Bamba, among others, was charged with domestic battery on Thursday in Los Angeles. The charge stems from a dispute he experienced last month with his girlfriend. On August 11, an argument ensued between the two which led to a physical confrontation. Phillips allegedly pushed his girlfriend and dragged her across the house, scraping up both her knees. She managed to wiggle out of his grasp, snatch a phone, and lock herself in the bathroom where she dialed 911. If convicted of the crime, Phillips faces a $2,000 fine and up to one year in jail. His arraignment is set for Oct. 18, 2006.

2006-09-23T21:40:00.000-07:00

2006-09-23T21:37:00.000-07:00

Leave it to the Germans

The Germans have been tinkering with a new technology to improve mass public transportation. Siemens and ThyssenKrupp are the two companies that joined hands to create the Transrapid train. The three car train is suspended in mid-air through the use of magnets, allowing the train to glide over the monorail at speeds in excess of 275 mph. Although, yesterday, during a test run, the train only eclipsed 120 mph before crashing into a maintenance cart a mile outside the station. Unfortunately, there were twenty nine people onboard, twenty three of which were killed. Those that were onboard were Transrapid employees, relatives, and friends. Transrapid International spokeswoman Claudia Hohmann didn’t offer much comfort to the media. She simply said, “We have to find out how the accident happened…At the moment we have more questions than answers.”
Common sense would allude to the fact that one doesn’t have to be a Rhode’s scholar or a mechanical engineer to realize A. the elevated tracks should have been cleared of any other trains or maintenance carts before embarking on a twenty two mile long journey from Berlin to Munich, and B. Trial runs involving any kind of vehicle that travels at Mach speeds should not be conducted with passengers onboard.

2006-09-23T20:11:00.000-07:00

Just in Time for Dinner

As if riding the tallest, fastest, gut-wrenching roller coasters in the world isn’t daring enough, Six Flags Great America charges its patrons with a new challenge. A dozen parks across the nation will be taking part in a promotion geared towards their annual Halloween “Fright Fest.” Starting Oct. 7, Six Flags’ visitors may sign a waiver that will grant them the opportunity to eat and swallow a live Madagascar hissing cockroach. Those who choose to indulge in such a delicacy, and successfully complete the dare, will be rewarded with a free T-shirt, as well as a “flash pass.” This “flash pass” carries with it almost instant access to all roller coasters, as it permits the owner of such, and three of his/her friends, to jump to the front of the line.

The Health Department discourages the act due to the risk of incurring a gastrointestinal illness or allergic reaction upon consumption of the 3-inch foreign insect. When prospective visitors were sought for comments, most people claimed, “they wouldn’t eat the cockroach, but they’d love to see other people eat it.”
The promotion runs through October 29th, and visitors can complete the dare between 7pm and 8pm on Fridays, and 5pm to 6pm on Saturdays and Sundays.

2006-09-22T14:49:00.000-07:00

Michael Jordan’s Gambling Habits Still Going Strong
Michael Jordan’s talents always shined on the basketball court, but now he’s generating professional recognition in yet another competitive field. Michael Jordan was one of several featured athletes that went toe to toe against poker pros such as Johnny Chan, Greg Raymer, Phil Gordon, and Phil Helmuth in an annual charity event hosted by former NBA player Trent Tucker. The event took place in Minneapolis to benefit youth programs. Jordan’s reputations of professionalism proceeded him, as he took the $25,000 first prize in the no-limit Texas Hold’em tournament. He donated his entire winnings to charity.

2006-09-22T14:48:00.000-07:00

Just in Time for Breakfast
Soon, patrons of McDonalds may never again hear the frustrating apology, “I’m sorry, we stopped serving breakfast at 10:30.” McDonalds is developing a new cooking system at its innovation facility in Romeoville, Illinois, which will enable McDonalds’ franchises to serve breakfast items all day long. The system, if implemented, will make McDonalds’ employees jobs easier ‘by tailoring the flow of the kitchen and prep areas more efficient and easier to use,’ says McDonalds’ chief executive Jim Skinner. By aspiring to the likes of Denny’s or Perkins (restaurants that serve breakfast items all day) Ron Paul, a Chicago based restaurant consultant, believes McDonalds could add 3-5% to their bottom line profits.

2006-09-22T14:45:00.003-07:00

Classified Humor

One woman’s plea to the masses graced the pages of the Classifieds Section of Thursday’s Chicago Tribune. The ad, found in the “Personals” section reads:
Please help, I’m constantly regurgitating mucus since an operation and it is
wrecking my throat and life. It is not acid reflux. Any suggestions?
Kathy, 312-565-1843.
Two manners of suggestion immediately rise to mind. One, perhaps she should seek the consultation of a physician. Two, mental help may be in order too, for anybody that believes the general public could assist with such complications must be crazy.

2006-09-22T14:45:00.002-07:00

Just in Time for Breakfast

Soon, patrons of McDonalds may never again hear the frustrating apology, “I’m sorry, we stopped serving breakfast at 10:30.” McDonalds is developing a new cooking system at its innovation facility in Romeoville, Illinois, which will enable McDonalds’ franchises to serve breakfast items all day long. The system, if implemented, will make McDonalds’ employees jobs easier ‘by tailoring the flow of the kitchen and prep areas more efficient and easier to use,’ says McDonalds’ chief executive Jim Skinner. By aspiring to the likes of Denny’s or Perkins (restaurants that serve breakfast items all day) Ron Paul, a Chicago based restaurant consultant, believes McDonalds could add 3-5% to their bottom line profits.

2006-09-22T14:45:00.001-07:00

Just in Time for Breakfast

Soon, patrons of McDonalds may never again hear the frustrating apology, “I’m sorry, we stopped serving breakfast at 10:30.” McDonalds is developing a new cooking system at its innovation facility in Romeoville, Illinois, which will enable McDonalds’ franchises to serve breakfast items all day long. The system, if implemented, will make McDonalds’ employees jobs easier ‘by tailoring the flow of the kitchen and prep areas more efficient and easier to use,’ says McDonalds’ chief executive Jim Skinner. By aspiring to the likes of Denny’s or Perkins (restaurants that serve breakfast items all day) Ron Paul, a Chicago based restaurant consultant, believes McDonalds could add 3-5% to their bottom line profits.

2006-09-22T14:45:00.000-07:00

Just in Time for Breakfast

Soon, patrons of McDonalds may never again hear the frustrating apology, “I’m sorry, we stopped serving breakfast at 10:30.” McDonalds is developing a new cooking system at its innovation facility in Romeoville, Illinois, which will enable McDonalds’ franchises to serve breakfast items all day long. The system, if implemented, will make McDonalds’ employees jobs easier ‘by tailoring the flow of the kitchen and prep areas more efficient and easier to use,’ says McDonalds’ chief executive Jim Skinner. By aspiring to the likes of Denny’s or Perkins (restaurants that serve breakfast items all day) Ron Paul, a Chicago based restaurant consultant, believes McDonalds could add 3-5% to their bottom line profits.

2006-09-22T14:44:00.000-07:00

Basketball Superstar Tries His Hand at the Rap Game

Sacramento Kings forward Ron Artest is known for his ‘bad boy’ attitude. However, after this weekend, he hopes to be known for his musical prowess as well. Artest is the opening act for a concert in Champaign, Illinois, on Friday. He opens for Yung Joc and Ludacris. Artest has just released his debut rap album (“My World”) under his own record label entitled TruWarier. His first single, Fever, is being played by radio stations across the country. Tickets for Friday’s concert can be purchased for $35.

2006-09-22T12:15:00.000-07:00

Cook County Hiring Practices Under Federal Investigation

A Cook County commissioner, one Tony Peraica (a Republican candidate), held a news conference outside the county’s human resources office to clarify the reasons for the FBI’s presence in the building. Although the FBI’s investigation began late last year, it first reached the public’s view just yesterday when agents stormed the human resource’s building (where hiring and personnel records are kept) wielding court ordered search warrants and subpoenas. Tony Peraica stated, “There’s a criminal conspiracy here that has been going on for quite some time to falsify job applications, to alter test scores, to hire unqualified individuals, principally from the 8th Ward.”

Other persons within the county, such as County Commissioner Forest Claypool, coupled his remarks with both remorse and little surprise. He stated, “County government has been a patronage dumping ground for years, a place where unqualified politically connected people have been dumped by the thousands…and very little has been done about it. It’s sad that reform at the county government is likely to come through law enforcement rather than through political process.”

Cook County has been in non-compliance with the court order known as the Shakman decree for three decades. The decree was born due to a federal lawsuit filed by lawyer Michael Shakman back in 1969. He contested that patronage hirings skewed the probability of the occurrence of fair elections. In the 1970’s both the city and the county agreed to prohibit firings and promotions for political reasons. Hiring was to occur on the basis of an applicant’s qualifications, rather than clout and/or political influence. This order became known as the Shakman decree.

Federal authorities believe Mayor Richard Daley’s administration found new ways to circumvent the decree. Daley’s patronage chief, Robert Sorich, and three other former city officials have already been convicted of fraud and other crimes in their efforts to circumvent the Shakman decree. Gov. Rod Blagojevich and his administration’s hiring practices are also under investigation.

Cook County Board President Bobbie Steele offered the comment, “I am committed to doing what is necessary to root out any problems,” which comes as a relief to investigators; however, this “commitment” comes into question when one acknowledges why such a commitment wasn’t demonstrated prior to now. In any event the County’s full cooperation is expected.

2006-09-22T12:14:00.000-07:00

Above the Law…Again?

Worth, a southwest suburb of Chicago, is adopting new provisions in their contracts for police officers. The same clauses have become common in all contracts across the state, but these clauses have also sparked debate. The clauses call for a decreased blood-alcohol limit in the bodies of on-duty police officers. Numerous towns don’t address a limit at all in contracts, whereas in some towns a zero-tolerance level has been implemented.

The new provision in Worth’s contract states that on-duty officers are considered under the influence if their blood-alcohol level is .03 or higher. Several village trustees, as well as police officers, are opposed to these measures. David Wickster, executive director of the Illinois Fraternal Order of Police Labor Council, states, “Having to drink, in some scenarios, is part of your job,” especially when they are undercover. Wickster also notes, “If you had a few cocktails the night before your shift at your brother-in-law’s wedding, it could show up the next morning. Indeed. Operating under the same premonition would suggest that officers that indulged in such activities would in fact be impaired the following morning.

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, studies show that impairment can be detected with as little as a .02 blood-alcohol limit. The effects such a limit displays are slight euphoria, mild relaxation, and possible light-headedness. At .04, individuals experience lower inhibitions and cautions, as well as impairment in reasoning. It can also intensify actions by heightening one’s emotions. None of these effects should appear in any on-duty officer of the law, not when they carry firearms and drive vehicles in which taxpayers are responsible.

Public works department employees have an almost zero tolerance stipulation, and they are subject to random testing under their Illinois Department of Transportation contracts. Why should officers of the law, who carry a much greater burden of responsibility, be treated any differently?

They shouldn’t! Police officers, more so than any other government employee, should be subjected to practice what they preach. They should be examples, models for the public to aspire to, rather than exemptions to laws.

2006-09-22T12:13:00.000-07:00

Madonna Sparks Controversy Yet Again

In her new world tour, coined, “Confessions,” Madonna performs an act that has religious proponents outraged. She mirrors the crucifixion of Christ by putting herself up on the cross. She released a public statement yesterday to clarify the reasoning or intentions behind her actions. She states, “There seems to be many misinterpretations about my appearance on the cross and I wanted to explain it myself once and for all. It is no different than a person wearing a cross or ‘taking up the cross’ as it says in the Bible. My performance is neither anti-Christian, sacrilegious or blasphemous. Rather, it is my plea to the audience to encourage mankind to help one another and to see the world as a unified whole. I believe in my heart that if Jesus were alive today he would be doing the same thing.”

2006-09-22T12:10:00.000-07:00

Convenience, Denial, and the Art of Playing Dumb is Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich’s Best Defense

On Thursday, September 21, Gov. Rod Blagojevich made his first publicly scheduled appearance in Chicago in two weeks. He has recently been under public scrutiny for accepting a check for $1,500 in his daughter’s name, shortly after “finding” a government job for his best friend’s under-qualified wife. His defense for accepting the “gift” has been disconcerting, to say the least. On September 8, 2006, the office of Blagojevich offered this statement: “Mike Ascaridis and Gov. Blagojevich met over forty years ago when the governor was eight years old. They have been best friends ever since. Mike is like a second brother to the governor and like a godparent to the governor’s kids. Mike was a member of the governor’s wedding party and a pallbearer at the funerals of both of the governor’s parents. Their families are extremely close, and like most close friends, they have exchanged gifts over the years. The idea that, all of a sudden, a birthday gift that Mike gave to Amy is connected to anything but Amy’s birthday is simply ludicrous. It is an outrage that we even have to answer this question.”

Michael Ascaridis backed the governor’s explanations issuing a statement of his own. On September 8, he stated, “I had given Amy various gifts since she was born ten years ago. I gave her a birthday gift for a college fund because of my relationship with Amy and a lifelong friendship with the Blagojevich family.”

Although the actions and statements of both the Ascaridis family members and Gov. Blagojevich appear legit, Gov. Blagojevich’s statements yesterday regarding this matter heightened public suspicion. Two weeks ago, when questioned by reporters whether or not Blagojevich had anything to do with the special treatment Beverly Ascaridis received in her miraculous acquisition of a state job, Gov. Blagojevich answered, “No.” Yesterday, Gov. Blagojevich contradicted himself by stating he knew Beverly Ascaridis was seeking state work in 2003. He passed her information on to his then-chief of staff, Lon Monk. “I suggested to my chief of staff to see if he can find something that fits her qualifications, that’s all I know.” So in two weeks time his degree of involvement has changed. Hmmm. That’s not all that’s changed, for yesterday Gov. Blagojevich also displayed an uncertainty regarding the purpose of the $1,500 check. He stated, “The year of this birthday gift or christening gift or whatever it was, was the year our baby Annie was born. And it was probably the time when Annie was christened down in Springfield and my best friend and his wife [the Ascaridises], we’re like family, were at the christening. My guess is that gift was in a card, that’s my guess. It’s not something I think about.”

Another discrepancy in the case rises because Federal ethics law requires the governor to disclose any gifts he receives in access of $250. Gov. Blagojevich never reported receiving gifts from the Ascaridis while he served in Congress from 1997 to 2003. In fact, it wasn’t until last year, when Gov. Blagojevich amended his 2003 ethics disclosure forms, that the Ascaridis are listed as people who provided gifts that exceeded $500 to the governor. Conveniently, the Acaridis family did not return phone calls yesterday, and were unavailable for comment.

2006-09-22T12:01:00.000-07:00

Does God favor Uncle Sam? It is believed by many that God plays an integral role in our nation's culture. After all, when pledging our allegiance to our flag, we utter, 'One nation under God,' the words, 'In God We Trust,' are tatooed on our money, and in a publicly announced presidential discourse we often times hear, 'May God bless America.' In a recent survey issued to 1,721 Americans by Baylor University, 19% said they either agreed or strongly agreed with the statement, "God favors the United States in worldly affairs." Researchers also noted, 31% believed in an "authoritarian" God who is largely concerned with punishing humans on a daily basis. 23% believed in a "benevolent" God who's less interested in punishment, while 16% believed God doesn't get involved with mortal life, but instead keeps a tally of deeds used in their judgment for the afterlife. 25% believe God created the laws of nature, but no longer partakes in today's activities. Among the 19% that believe God favors the United States, Republicans outnumber the Democrats by four times. Paul Froese, an assistant sociology of religion professor at Baylor University believes these are important findings in our ideas of our national culture.

2006-09-20T21:29:00.000-07:00

The Return of Gammons the Great

Major League Baseball enthusiasts can finally rest at ease, for Peter Gammons, arguably the best baseball analyst of all time, will return to work three months after suffering a brain aneurysm. The 61 year-old man is currently a member of the writer's wing of the Baseball Hall of Fame. On June 27, of this year, he was sticken with the ailment while driving near his Cape Cod home. He was airlifted to a Boston hospital where he remained, and was finally released on July 17, 2006. He returns to work this evening, where he's expected to file reports of the Minnesota vs. Boston ball game.

2006-09-20T21:15:00.000-07:00

Holdups on the Rise

2005 marked a record setting period for the most attempted bank robberies in this region's history. This year poses a threat to overtake that mark, for 206 attempts have already been registered within Chicago's five county metropolitan region this year.

FBI officials can't offer an absolute explanation as to why attempted bank robberies are on the rise. The local economy as well as the unemployment rate haven't suffered any significant changes recently. FBI officials are under the impression that opportunities for people to engage in such crimes has increased; therefore, the attempts have increased. FBI officials report an alarming growth of bank branch openings. These new openings have also extended their business hours and often remain open on the weekends.

FBI officials also report a 75% increase in "takeover" heists since 2004. These takeover heists are characterized by an armed bandit and a greater chance for violence. In addition, more robberies involving serial bandits have occurred this year. The "Wheaton Bandit", for example, is still at large. This man has struck fourteen times in the last few years. His most recent heist took place in February 2006. The "Carjack Bandit", deemed so because he steals a getaway car during the robbery from either a bank employee or one of its customers, has successfully robbed five banks in recent months. Another patron bank customers should be leery of is a man who enters a bank sporting a yellow construction hat. This "Hard-hat Bandit" has worn this piece of head gear in all six of his successful robberies.

Despite this recent rise in crime, FBI officials are proud to state that they make an arrest in 70% of all attempted robberies. Penalties for the crime consists of a minimum sentence of a decade in a federal penitentiary.

2006-09-20T21:02:00.001-07:00

Another Victory for the Fighting Illini

It's been legally contested that the University of Illinois' mascot, Chief Illiniwek, and the celebratory dances he performs at athletic events are violations of the state's civil rights laws. NCAA officials refuse to allow the university of Illinois the right to host any postseason athletic contests because of the university's insistence to present their mascot at the contests. The Illinois Native American Bar Association is responsible for several allegations and lawsuits against the university. The bar's attorney, Kenneth Dobbs, states, "Every university, college, and high school, have abandoned the use of racist Native American imagery. It creates a hostile atmosphere...But people tolerate it because of a misunderstanding of Native American culture."

Judge Warren Wolfsen of the 1st District Appellate Court in Chicago, threw out the lawsuit filed last year after a 2-1 decision in favor of the university was recorded. Judge Wolfsen noted that in 1996, the General Assembly declared Chief Illiniwek as a "honored symbol of a great university." He upheld that declaration by stating, "Native American students of the university are not prohibitted from attending events in which the mascot performs, nore are Chief Illiniwek's performances aimed at them personally." Judge Wolfsen continued his defense for the university, claiming the mascot's dress or gestures are not offensive, nor are they sufficient enough to warrant a lawsuit.

It is believed that The Illinois Native American Bar Association will appeal this ruling in the immediate future.

2006-09-20T21:02:00.000-07:00

Another Victory for the Fighting Illini

It's been legally contested that the University of Illinois' mascot, Chief Illiniwek, and the celebratory dances he performs at athletic events are violations of the state's civil rights laws. NCAA officials refuse to allow the university of Illinois the right to host any postseason athletic contests because of the university's insistence to present their mascot at the contests. The Illinois Native American Bar Association is responsible for several allegations and lawsuits against the university. The bar's attorney, Kenneth Dobbs, states, "Every university, college, and high school, have abandoned the use of racist Native American imagery. It creates a hostile atmosphere...But People tolerate it because of a misunderstanding of Native American culture."

It is believed that The Illinois Native American Bar Association will appeal this ruling in the immediate future.

2006-09-19T13:43:00.000-07:00

Youth Athletic Organization Promotes Silent Spectators

Last weekend a Bourbonnais, Illinois, Youth Soccer League observed a day in which they've termed, "Silent Saturday." During the course of this day the communication between coaches, parents, and youth competitors was severed. This was a day in which the adults intended to simply, "let the kids play," without parental interference (instructional or otherwise). Coaches, too, could only speak to their players when making substitutions. Parents and other spectators cold only applaud after a goal. At no other time was encouragement or discouragement permitted.

The concept of this idea was inspired due to the rising number of accounts in which spectators interfered and endangered those that played on the field (youth competitors and referees alike). For example, in Stockton, California, a coach was arrested for assaulting a 13 year-old boy, after the boy was flagged for delivering a late hit to the coaches son in a football game.

It's a fact that many youths cease to partake in athletic activities due to the overwhelming parental pressure felt in competitive situations. But, silencing the spectators is not the answer to curb such a problem. Instead, parents and coaches alike need to learn how to be supportive rather than displaying these gung-ho, no nonsense, competitive values.

I think a large amount of desire to play a particular sport resides within the individual's need to please him/herself; however, there is a desire to appease an audience to some degree as well. Personally, I don't know if I would have partaken in as many athletic activities as I did as a youth, if I did not have an audience to appease. At times this audience was my parents, at times it was friends, and other times it was to impress some girl. In any event, during my playing days I recieved encouragement, and it was this encouragement from other people that enabled me to continue playing whatever endeavor I chose to play.

2006-09-19T13:33:00.000-07:00

Cupcakes in the Classroom: Should classrooms be permitted to host student birthday celebrations?

A recent survey conducted in Chicago recorded a 56% approval for celebrating student birthdays in the classroom, while 44% believed it to be inappropriate for a variety of reasons.

Student birthdays within the classroom should not only be permitted, but schools should encourage the celebration of a student's birthday. A student in any educational institution is a product of that institution, a product of its control, a product of its teachings, a reflection of its ideals, and a product of its profits. Schools should want to celebrate their own creations, especially if only asked to do so once a year (in the form of a student birthday).

In addition to the question 'is a celebration in order', parents, kids, and teachers alike are undecided in the manner in which to celebrate. The individual that is being honored should have the right to choose how the celebration will commence. Will it take the form of sharing an edible treat with his/her classmates, or will it take the form of a show and tell (read a passage from a favorite book at the front of the class), such as that which was suggested in one school in Chicago. A good number of people have complained that cupcakes are an inappropriate method of celebration, citing, "children don't need more sugar in their diets," or "it takes away from classtime." In response to these general statements, "Children don't need an over-exaggerated amount of control either. A little bit of fun never hurt anyone."

2006-09-19T12:56:00.000-07:00

Appeal or Myth?

The Internet is a powerful tool that accounts for a significant portion of the global revenue. It is probably the most widely used, universally accepted medium of communication. People use the Internet because of this fact sure, but some people generally use it because it offers an illusion of private space. Sole, individual ownership is believed to be prevalent in every Myspace, Youtube, LiveJournal, or Writingup account today. What people fail to understand, or refuse to acknowledge is the fact that the Internet, in no way, shape, or form allows privacy. In fact it does quite the opposite, it discloses information in an invasive manner. This is part of the draw of the above listed websites. People know absolute privacy is impossible, therefore instead of fighting the inevitability, they embrace it, and offer all or portions of their private lives for observation. The access of an individual's mind is what draws people to these websites. Yes, these websites can be used as a means to locate a lost friend or acquaintance as well, but the reason these websites are so successful is because they offer people a means of invading the intimacies of individual minds.

People, albeit the government, parents, or friends, have been invading me my entire life, so rather than combating this, instead I'll aid the invasion. I'll post a Myspace profile, so the world may get a glimpse of me under my terms. I'll decide just what more there will be to invade. After spending only a few moments on any of these sites, I can understand the importance or the drive towards invasion. It is a pleasurable activity...it is. It's a wonderful feeling to be able to invade someone else's space, someone else's life, someone else's illusion of privacy in an effort to further understand my own space. Personally I'll aim to allow these invasions to aid in my own learning process, and I'll react to it accordingly.

2006-09-19T12:12:00.001-07:00

Employee Accountability in the Event of a Scandal

Chicago city workers involved in a scandal that produced legal trucker's driver's licenses to those that didn't qualify expect to get their jobs back. Many offenders are claiming, "We did not act alone, we were following instructions from other city employees." This may in fact be true. But the fact remains that those following the instructions were well aware of these wrongdoings. Worse yet, their wrongdoings caused the loss of one man's entire immediate family. Imagine that. Imagine everyone you've ever worked for, everyone you've come to know, everything you've come to love, is taken from you due to the ignorance of several others. This poor man's wife and children are gone. Forever!

This was not the doing of one person. One person may have issued the order, but it takes the collaboration of several individuals, throughout several divisions of government, to issue illegal drivers licenses. Do these culprits expect the public to believe that they didn't know it was wrong? In fact is it so hard to believe that during this illegal distribution process someone, other than those that acquired the licenses, benefitted? The man that lost his family certainly didn't.

In any event, this isn't the military. It's government yes, but it isn't the military. Chain of commands in this environment can be, and should be broken, to ensure the good nature of humanity, and decrease the happenings of such tragic events as those listed above. Every city worker who had anything to do with this scandal should be fired. In fact, do the right thing...Go one step further and dont allow these persons to work within this government in any position, for the remainder of their lives. Such a suggestion isn't exactly unreasonable. After all, what would the government be saying to those it employed, to those it protects, if we treat those involved in this scandal as such, "Hey, we KNOW you're dirty, you're corrupt, or you can be paid off to 'look the other way,' but we'd like to have you back on staff. You'll fit right in with the rest of the crooks within this department."

No! I'm sorry, but a character of this stature, or of this nature does NOT belong in the government that represents me! If the government must give him a job back, give him one that fits his character, one that doesn't command as much respect and responsibility, perhaps a manager of a governmental laundry department would teach tainted governmental employees a lesson.

2006-09-19T12:12:00.000-07:00

Employee Accountability in the Event of a Scandal

2006-09-19T11:50:00.000-07:00

Lethal Law Enforcement in the Name of Justice

Several cases have surfaced recently that have brought upon questions regarding the force used by police officers to subdue alleged criminals or potential threats. Most recently, several officers responded to a domestic disturbance in Wonder Lake, Illinois. The officers encountered a man wielding a knife. The man charged the officers rather than surrendering his weapon. The officers reacted by firing three shots into the man. Two bullets struck the man in the torso, one bullet struck him in the head. The man is in critical condition fighting for his life. When reporters questioned the officer's discretion to use "lethal force," Sgt. Duane Cedergren commented, "Shooting people in the arm, or shooting the gun out of their hands is strictly television. What all officers are taught is: Shoot to stop the threat, and they will continue to shoot until the threat is stopped."

I'm not disputing the fact that an officer needs to stop all threats, but I am disputing the manner in which the threats are stopped. Why can't officers aim at other parts of the body? Disabling a man's ability to walk by repeatedly firing at his/her legs can stop an advancing threat just as easily as aiming at their head, correct? I understand it's hard to hit a moving target; however, law enforcement officials are entrusted with the power of death at their hip, their ankle, or in their shoulder holster at all times. ANYBODY that wields such a power should be expected to be a damn marksman. And if they're not...then they shouldn't be allowed to carry a gun!

Two days earlier, a Maywood (suburb of Chicago) police officer observed a car in the early morning hours traveling at unsafe speeds, and driving through stop signs. The police officer attempted to pull the man over, but to no avail. A chase ensued, which before long occurred on foot. The driver of the reckless vehicle, 19 year old Ronald Robinson, turned and pointed a gun at his pursuant. The officer returned fire, and avoided any lethal results by striking the criminal in his gun wielding hand. Is this officer just an exceptional talent on the Maywood Police Force? Or is he a man that chose to use a means of reasonable enforcement in an act of justice? Should law enforcement officials be held responsible for ill acts of judgement in the name of justice?